Tomorrow night's my last night here at TCNJ. A bunch of people have already left. Nate left yesterday, Christian, Scott, Matt and Katie Walsh left today, Lauren and Catherine are leaving tomorrow. This is all getting really depressing, it's just hitting me tonight. I'm really going to miss T4 and things really won't ever be the same again. We're all split up next semester. I can't just walk out of my room and see all of my friends when I want to. Next semester I'm in a townhouse and the only people on my floor are three other friends (maybe just two, John might not be coming back next semester). Kevin's with Kiren in Eickoff, Paul and Matt are in Decker, the girls are in Cromwell, the guys are in Decker, Catherine's all the way in Abe, the Marthas and Gina are in Decker...this is all so depressing. If I want to visit them after 8, it has to be a whole big ordeal and I have to get signed in and shit. That's so not me, I like doing just random pop-in's. I feel like something heavy's on my chest.

I love my friends at home. I know I'm going to have a great summer with Pat, Scott, Shaun, Amanda and the rest. But it's just not the same. In college, I'm such a different person. At home things are so different. I'm a different Dan around my Moorestown friends and family. I have to have rules again. I want a new job but I know I'm going to end up at fucking shitty Shoprite anyway.

This summer I really want to do some things. I want to do less driving around and spending money on food and gas and more doing productive things. I want to get better at guitar, I want to work out (I say this every summer but I gained alot of weight from beer), I want to get a tan, I want to go to the beach, I want to get a girl, I want to work at a job I'll like in some small intimate shop. But I know I'm not going to do any of these things and I'll just spend all my money on Taco Bell and gas and spend 35 hours a week at Shoprite, arguing about my paycheck and what department I'm supposed to be in and my days off. I've got a plan: if I end up there again, I'm going to tell them I'm working at my radio station so I need to be done by 5 or something. This way I'll work early and I'll get up every day before noon.

I don't want school to end. I almost want to be the last person to leave, just so I get to experience every last minute of my freshman year. I haven't even started packing yet, I just can't bring myself to do it. But in probably 36 hours, my freshman year of college at TCNJ will be over forever, and I'll never be able to go back.

This year has had a little bad but a lot of good. I'm really happy with how everything turned out here, I'm happy with the friends I've made, I'm happy that I'm still friends with everyone I was in the beginning of the year and didn't follow the cliques, I'm happy with my classes and my experiences and most of all, I'm happy with myself. I really like who I am and what I've become here at school, and I want to keep being the same person I am at college when I go back home Friday.

Now all I can do is cherish every second I have left here.